Feelings of hate and resentment apart from the hurt and the pain are the first emotions wives go through when they come to know that their husbands have cheated on them or that they are having an affair. So to say and feel “I hate my husband” is a common emotion at this point in your relationship and marriage.

Lot of wives are so much filled with hate and aversion that they don’t even wish to see them eye to eye and quite a few of them can’t even stand in the same room with them.
Are you asking yourself as to, what you are going to do right now? Where is my marriage headed? The sight of my husband makes me sick and I hate him and wish him hell.

I can totally relate and understand your feelings. But you must also be very much aware that the feelings of hate and aversion you have for your husband can be a lot destructive to your marriage and relationship. Though at this point in time all your hatred is directly on your husband, but it will most certainly come back and hurt you.
Also I agree that you are absolutely and truly entitled to have all these feelings, but also know that what is really going to make you feel better is not lashing out at him and hating him but healing yourself from the hate and trying to understand the reasons behind the cheating and affairs and figure out things to solve those issues.

The negative feelings you have for your husband will not get you anywhere you wish to be in the longer run, but can only assist you in venting yourself off. Also too much of this and holding on to them for a longer run can be really detrimental to your marriage.
So we need to find ways and solutions so that we can move past the hate we have for our husbands.

Do you hate your husband? OR,
Do you hate the feelings his actions has given you?
The reason for the hate towards our husband is mainly because of the feelings of hurt, pain and betrayal his actions have produced. Lot of we wives fail to realize for a long time. So understand that what we really hate and detest more is the way our husband’s cheating and affair has made us feel.

Also once we know of this, a lot of fears and insecurities pop up. At times it makes you feel angry with yourself and at times it makes you feel stupid as you had ignored all the warning signs before. And you might be asking yourself why didn’t I take some action and steps to prevent this?

Such is the enormity of the situation that it’s really difficult to stop feeling the way we are feeling right now. And we direct all the feelings of betrayal, feel and self-doubt that we have towards him. He might surely deserve all of your wrath because of the wrong that he has committed.

So the question now is, are you give space for him to be remorseful and chance to rectify him. Or does every single thing he does now is a mistake and wrong in your eyes. Are you allowing him the possibility of redeeming himself from his mistakes and giving him an environment to do that?

Know that in a lot of case the husband will also feeling the shame, the pain and the hurt his actions has caused you. But you holding on to the negativity will only create more problems in your marriage.
Let any of your actions not slow the healing process.

Try to understand and acknowledge the fact that there is a lot of difference between hating your husband personally and hating the things he has done to you. Please don’t hate just for the act of betrayal. Know that you loved him before you knew this, so an act of madness and misjudgment should not be responsible to turn the love you had for your husband into hate. Agreed that you are disappointed; deal with this disappointment and hurt and don’t let this turn into hate and resentment.

Through it takes time to forgive his wrongs, start the process and keep reminding yourself that you loved this man before he mad this awful choice/decision. Remind yourself of all the positive and good qualities you like about your husband and try to cancel out his wrongs. This certainly is not an exercise his faults, but to give our self the first steps to recovery and healing.

Gradually you will start to realize that you did not hate your husband as your spouse, but you just hate the choice he had to cheat on you. Do this and hopefully you will see the difference between the two.
Putting any of these might not be an easy task to start with and there lots of helpful methods and guides that will lead you through. There are some really good and proven ways to save your marriage from any kinds of troubles, issues, hate and infidelity. Please get them and get benefitted. All the best for all your positive efforts.

Preserve yourself in spite of all your hardships:
Keep in mind that in the end, the true healing and overcoming the feeling of hate and resentment towards our husband comes down to self-preservation amidst all the issues and problems you are going through in your marriage.
Don’t let yourself drown into these feelings, just to one day realize that you were so clingy to all your feelings that it had choked off all the peace, happiness and joy out of your wedding that you deeply deserved but was not experiencing.

So love yourself more than you hate your husband, this is a very beneficial thought process to leave off the hate.
Even if you feel like you want to beat the hell off your husband, I will be just you who have to deal with all the feelings and you have to eventually let them go if you want to truly heal yourself. Keep in mind that its really about trying to want what is best for yourself more than you wanting to hang on to all the hurts, pains and the hate. Also realize that at some point in time YOU have to move on. I certainly agree that this will take its own time, but the bigger question her is, are you taking steps for that and how much involved you are on these efforts.

The most important thing to do her is to make a conscious decision to separate the feelings you have for your husband and the feelings you have about your husband’s act of infidelity. This surely is a challenge and will not happen overnight. But make up a decision and come to a conclusion that you will be a lot more open to your husband’s attempt to make things right again and get into a constant dialogue with him in the recovery process.

For some women who are more emotional than others, the process can be a little long but remember that separating the act from the person is the first step in the right direction to bring back the peace and happiness in your relationship.

I very well know that trying to heal your self from his affair, overcoming the hate and resentment, and to forgive him for his wrongs is difficult. But it will be truly worth it. Personally in my case, it look a lot of work and patience as I was almost into depression, but I can happily say that my marriage is a lot stronger now than it ever was. Now looking back I am really happy for the effort I put it both emotionally and mentally, and I am really fortunate not to let my emotions and hurt make any irreversible damage to my relationship and marriage. My bond, communication and intimacy is really strong with my husband now and I have a lot of self-worth and esteem. I can very confidently say that my husband will not cheat me again, as he also got to know a lot about the love and care I have for him.

Are you having a lot of negative feelings, dislike and resentment towards your husband now that you are actually feeling and saying that “I hate my husband” ? Hate is really a strong and hurtful word to be used in a marriage but I do in fact understand you feelings and emotions you are going through that made you to develop feelings of hate on your husband. So here lets getting into all the reasons that trigger you to say these alarming words, I hate my husband.

There are in fact lots of ways you can FIX YOUR HUSBAND AND ALSO YOURSELF to make your relationship and marriage happy for you and your husband. The emotions involved in every marriage are different as the husband and the wife are two unique individuals. But the fundamental need for having mutual love is the same across all marriage and the desire and the want to be happy in them.

Have you tried to get to the bottom of your emotions and feelings of hate and tried to understand and comprehend what made you develop a strong dislike and hate for your husband. This is a very critical exercise we need to do because very often we get confused with our emotions and point them towards the person directly rather than the issue on that person that is really bothering us. And when we end up directing all our emotions to the person and not on the issue, we end up feeling, do I hate my husband.

As matured adults we all do know this; and that it happens with couples in relationships, but we might not have really realized that in fact we are doing the same in our marriage as we are under a lot of hurts and painful emotions. So take a step back and RE-ANALYZE THE THINGS AND ISSUES in your relationship and with your husband.

Lot of times wives start to dislike and hate their husbands when their expectations of what a marriage is supposed to be is not what really is. This happens in a lot of marriage as we all have expectations getting into a marriage and we are in fact right to have them. But what we miss is that we fail to add some dose of reality and hardships into it.

We should come out of the misconception we all have about an “IDEAL” marriage. To me an ideal marriage is

  • 1) Having unconditional love for each other
  • 2) Accepting the fact that we both are different in our own ways
  • 3) Understanding that Hardships and issues cannot be avoided. It should only make the love stronger.

The problem we have is we leave out all the negatives that could come and have an unrealistic image of it. We just have in mind the happy parts and fail to realistically understand that.

Any happy relationship is a constant effort that both the husband and the wife needs to put it. All marriages evolve as months and years go by. It’s not a constant or a stagnant thing, but a every changing process.

When we have feelings of hate and dislike towards our husband, we think that 90% of the problems and issues are on our husband’s side. That could be very much true. But remember that your words, actions and reactions could also be the reasons to some part of HIS problems.

And a very important truth in a marriage is, the change that you can bring about on yourself is contagious. It surely has the ability to influence and create positive impact on your husband.

Also lot of times the disappointments and the failed expectations on our husband leads us to dislike and hate towards them. We need to be very careful here NOT TO ALLOW OUR DISAPPOINTMENTS TO BECOME HATE.

And most of the time the disappointment might not be about the husband per se, because he could be behaving the same throughout the time you know him, it is only the marriage has disappointed you as it did not meet your expectations.

So now you either you have to change or bring down your expectation to a realistic level and also try changing the part of the marriage that you have control over which is basically YOU. Doing this in your marriage and relationship can surely bring down the hate you have for your husband and the change you do will have a positive impact on him. So, seeing from a larger perspective you are indeed standing to gain from your change, and overcoming the reasons to the issues that made you say, I hate my husband would be a lot easier.

All that I am trying to bring here is just see your marriage and your husband from a relaxed and loving perspective that is more REALISTIC. I also totally agree that there are lot of things that needs to be changed on your husband’s side. The point here is not be inactive and dormant on your efforts and ending up on the wrong side of the statistics, but to actually take efforts to transform and repair your marriage. So please make use of all the information and resources available here.

More often than not we might not really be sure as to where to start and how to start. I have seen the success on a lot of wives who have used techniques and advice on how to save marriage and do away with the resentment and the hate they have for each other. Hope that would be all that you need.

There is a lot less advice and really useful information out there for dealing with emotions and situations where you see yourself hating your husband. I assure you that you will find a lot of very useful and usable information here.

Also keep in mind that to successfully deal with the pain and the emotion of saying , “I hate my husband” , apart from some change from your husband, taking most of the effort by yourself you can change the hate and the resentment you have for your husband. At times he might not really be directly involved in the process, the SMALL CHANGE ON YOUR SIDE CAN TRIGGER A BIG CHANGE ON HIS SIDE. Most of things to start with you can really do it alone, find one of the very successful and proven course that will help you on this process and will help you regain the happiness in your marriage also save it from going any worse. I am sure you would no longer have the thoughts and the feeling to say , I hate my husband.

Are these “I hate my husband” thoughts and feelings coming into your mind more often in the last few days, weeks or even months?. Once in a while having these kinds of feelings on our husbands are in fact usual in marriages these days because of all the stress and the challenges marriage and relationship brings between the spouses these days, but when these “I hate my husband” feelings become a constant and frequently occurring thought then then there in indeed SERIOUS PROBLEMS IN YOUR MARRIAGE and in your relationship with your husband. .

It’s really an uncomfortable, bad and also stressful to have that kind of a feeling on your husband. There could be a lot of reasons for this. Your hubby might be acting strange and difficult these days that is bringing in feelings of hate and dislike for him. You could be going through a lot of different emotions and feelings for which he is not receptive enough which could trigger feelings of dislike and aversion for him. Or things are not the same in your marriage as it used to be, and you are venting out your frustration and stress on husband as hate and aversion.

In fact there could be a lot of different things which makes us to feel and think “I hate my husband”. .

There are also some wives who are respectful and also love their husbands and inside their heart they just hate them for something or the other . I am really happy for you that you have come her to find the reasons for that and are TRYING TO FIND A SOLUTION to the issues you have with your husband, and to fix things that are not good in your marriage. Trying to find information and advice that will make things better puts you in a better spot as you have taken the first step to fix your relationship with your husband..

# So now comes the big question, HOW TO STOP THINKING , “I hate my husband” :

How to I fix the things that is causing me to feel this way about my husband?

The first and the foremost thing for you is to decide to keep the LOVE intact for him in spite of all his faults and wrong doings. Keep in mind that to love your spouse is in fact really a choice that you make and should not be based on how you feel and how things are going in your marriage. To do away with all the negative feelings you have for your husband, it’s very much important that you start to love him again.

The love I am referring to here is the “TRUE LOVE” and not a love based on what he does and does not for you. To have true love, you first need to be kind, patient and even tolerant at times. Keep in mind that you need to love him true to your heart, and not just because your husband is being and behaving in a way that you wish him to be. So make up your mind to love him “unconditionally” . It’s really not right to relate the love we have for him to his behavior and actions, though we all end up doing JUST that. .

The love I am referring to here should not allow you to get even or dislike your husband for the way he is now or for the things you dislike in him. The first decision or the choice to make here is to make up your mind and heart to love your husband and not to hate him, and gradually sooner than later you will no longer be thinking “I hate my husband” provided by take efforts to fix the other issues and problems you both have in your relationship.

You are here trying to understand why you hate your husband and looking for ways to fix not only your feelings for your husband but also to IDENTIFY THINGS that are causing you to have these kinds of feelings and to fix all issues related to your husband and your marriage.

A lot of wives who say they hate their husband really don’t hate them. It’s just the feeling of dislike towards their husbands because of some of their actions, words and attitude. I am not aware of the things that your husband does that are invoking those hateful feelings that you have. Just try replacing “I hate my husband” with the words “I hate my husband BECAUSE HE DOES THIS” or “I hate my husband BECAUSE HE IS THIS WAY”. Doing this will give you the reasons that is behind the hate you have for him. This will also make you realize that you in fact don’t hate your husband but you only hate your husband for what he is doing and not doing. Once this issue is fixed I am sure you would again start feeling the love you have for him. .

Start working on your relationship; understand that you will also notice some issues on your side when you do a SELF- ANALYSIS on how you are to your husband. This could be far less compared to what issues you see on your husband, but start working on yourself, sooner you will surely see a change in them as well. Also it is really important to have a deep one on one conversation with your husband and to get to know his side of the story. This could surely give you more insight on how you are in the relationship..

I am sure there are a lot of areas in your marriage and relationship that needs work and mainly because they were either ignored or overlooked you have starting building resentment and hate towards your husband. Also answer yourself to this question,

“Will I still hate my husband if he changes 3 or even 2 things about himself that drives me crazy?”

You would still not be thinking that “I hate my husband”. So please start working on your marriage and your relationship with your husband, and stop thinking that you hate your husband. .

I would advise you to have all the hope and confidence that regardless of how bad you think your marriage and relationship is now, it can surely be turned around into a happy and a healthy marriage. Please don’t give up yet. There are these proven STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE to stop thinking “I hate my husband” and to save and transform your marriage in to how you really want it to be. Please check them out and save your marriage and fix the hate and the aversion you have on your husband. .